tl;dr: A viral Scotrail video showing passengers confronting a drunk council legal officer for covertly filming teenage girls is used to argue that UK tech policy has it backwards: instead of restricting young people's phone use, we should recognize phones as essential safety and agency tools. The author contends that authoritarian internet regulations like under-16 social media bans are being driven by an out-of-touch upper-class elite who culturally view children as possessions, imposing their values on working-class youth who actually need phones and real-world resilience skills.